@ 2003-08-17 23:07:00

Current mood: anxious

sometimes being a Mommy sets off my anxiety disorder worse than anything else

Little Man was pretty fussy all day, he kept jamming both hands into his mouth today and often then caused himself to gag.

He wasn't into eating solids so he got a lot of boob today.

He fell asleep around 7 p.m. (he didn't nap today either) and was sleeping but not deeply till about 10 p.m. at about 10:30 p.m. he woke up and then started making his sleepytalk and closed his eyes again so, back on the boob he went and now he's asleep in his crib.

His eyes were clear though and he wasn't doing the hands in mouth thing past this afternoon. I've been watching him because he's been so clumsy the past few days. He tries to run faster than he actually can and he trips. And he's a menace as he also mastered Mom's couch yesterday but he couldn't get up on it every time he tried because of the extra height of it.

He gave himself a good crack on Mom's coffeetable today and a slight one on ours tonight while in pursuit of Fetish. No apparent bumps or bruises though... but it scares the hell outta me every time he falls, or trips, or bangs himself, or bites things like the table because I am terrified that he's gonna hurt himself and my heart just stops sometimes.

I don't know why he is always trying to bite coffetables. Or why he's so clumsy (though Mom says it's because he wants to get ahead of himself) and I seriously am at a loss as to how kids survive childhood when they do stuff like this.

I'm constantly afraid he's going to concuss himself. I've had concussions. They aren't fun.

Mom says that it's different when you're small because your bones aren't as hard as they are when you're older and so that's why my wee man seems so impossibly sturdy compared to old folks like me.

Being a parent is scary stuff sometimes.

Oh, and to reassure me more :| Mom said that with boys, it only gets worse and scarier...

thanks Mom :(

g'night

EDITED 2:04 a.m.

Torin woke up about a half an hour after I posted this when Jay came home.

I just put Torin in the crib now, that he's asleep and, unfortunately, I feel very awake BUT I am going to lie down and try to relax my body enough so that I will feel rested even if I am unable to actually fall asleep.

So please, refrain from calling in the morning :>

Thanks :>